B.R.A.V.I.N.G. to Trust
Can you really trust people? Is any relationship safe? Somebody very trustworthy in my life just recently shared something with me that has been on my mind every day since and has challenged how I live my life in every way. This was a talk by Brene Brown, entitled, "The Anatomy of Trust." You can see it here on the video above. Once again, I was blown away by what I heard from Brown and its implications in my life and in the lives of my clients. For years now in my practice, I have listened to heart-wrenching stories of people who have had their trust broken and who can now no longer trust themselves. We talked about learning to find safe people to trust, but I admit, I always felt a bit blind in the process. It's so nebulous--that word trust. How can one really know if someone is trustworthy? What are the markers of their personality and the relationship? On one end of the spectrum, there are those who are closed off and fearful to share with anyone. At the other end are those who word vomit all over anyone who will listen. Where is a safe, middle ground? Misjudging whether someone can be trusted can have tragic outcomes.
In Brown's talk, she breaks down the anatomy of trust with the acronym, BRAVING. This stands for Boundaries, Reliability, Accountability, Vault, Integrity, Non-Judgment, and Generosity. Check out the talk in the video above to gain the full effect of these ideas, but you can probably surmise from the acronym what some of the things are that encompass trust. Basically, those in your life who can be trusted respect your "yes" and your "no," keep what you say to themselves, say and do the challenging things in the relationship for the greater good, believe the best in you and your intentions, let you fall apart without judgment; and they do these things consistently. Wow, so much to take in! Not only do I need to choose my close relationships wisely, but I also need to be the same type of person I want them to be to me.
So, be BRAVE. Evaluate yourself and your relationships. There are trustworthy people out there who want to walk this life with you, but you just have to know what to look for and TRUST.