Have you ever had a bad boyfriend? Perhaps someone's face in paricular comes to mind as you flashback to high school or college. Maybe you've had the kind of bad boyfriend who forgets your birthday and isn't courteous and you realize quickly that you just aren't much of a priority. Then there's the bad boyfriend who cheats on you. This is unimaginably painful, and hopefully you will dump him in a hurry! Of course, there's also the bad boyfriend who might be downright abusive and harmful, controlling and manipulative. These kinds of boyfriends are often more difficult to leave. At this point, you m,ay be thinking about your own life and in the deepest places of your soul be wondering exactly how you can extricate yourself from a troubled relationship, bu honestly are feeling terrified.
The type of abusive, controlling boyfriend I am referring to is not blue-eyed and blonde-haired or brown-eyed with dark hair either. He isn't 6'4" or short and stocky. His name is Ed and he exists in he mind. I am referring to Ed, short for eating disorder. In Life without Ed, author Jenni Schaefer referrs to Ed like a bad boyfriend or husband who manipulates and controls its girlfriends to engage in eating disorder behaviors and thoughts, all the while leading them to believe they are not good enough to ever have anything better. Ed is bossy, with lots of rules about what people can and cannot eat, how they should dress, who they can be friends with, etc. You may recognize his voice, "You just need to lose a little more weight. That dress is hugging your hips a bit too much!" If you are sitting there and realizing that you often hear Ed's voice, you may be in shock. Perhaps you never realized just how troubled your relationship was with this now-identified boyfriend Ed.
If so, you may be wondering, what do I do? First step, become aware of Ed's voice and the way he is trying to manipulate you. Life without Ed is a great read if you or someone you know may be struggling with an eating disorder. It gives you hope and awareness. Second, try to disobey Ed and consider BREAKING UP! As you disobey Ed a little at a time, his voice becomes smaller and less influential. Third, seek help and support if you feel overwhelmed by the process and want to break free from an eating disorder.
You matter. You have value. Don't settle for a bad boyfriend like Ed!